Depending on where you are and how you grew up, the ways in which we express “I love you” vary from person to person. Whether it is physically hearing the words over and over again, or gaining affirmation through acts of service, there are no clear rules for how one should express their love. But for Misha Lau & Rebecca Jiang, recent college grads of Chinese descent and creators of Unspoken Words, the way their family expressed this sentiment was not through words but through something far greater: food.
Growing up, their parents and relatives would rarely say the words "I love you." But that didn’t mean that they didn’t care. They explain,
“They showed their love through actions, like always telling us to 多吃一点 (eat more, in Mandarin). This is because our parents grew up poor and didn't always have enough food to eat. Thus, they never wanted us to experience what they've been through, and wanted to ensure we were always healthy and well-fed.”
They continue, “in Chinese culture, food is meant to be shared. It's common to have multiple dishes that everyone shares. Food is always an important aspect for family gatherings.”
Expressions of love, when we really think about it, are often distillations of our hopes and dreams for our children, family, and friends. We externalize our values that we inherited from our culture and country of origin, sharing and spreading them to others, thereby sharing our feelings and our history, both cultural and personal—and what could be more intimate than that?
Next time someone shares food with you, lets you borrow a piece of clothing, or surprises you with a gift or a favor, pay attention—they may be showing just how much they love you.
This article is part of DIMMI Digest: Nourishment. Nourishment is about the moments we take for ourselves to refill what has been expended. More than just nutrients, nourishment can be the rest that we give ourselves, the shared joy that we experience, or the love that brings us together at the end of a hard day. The latter in which Misha and Rebecca describe .
